Nothing
by BigMouth96
Summary: Elliot's feelings on leaving the best thing he ever had: Olivia. SongFic: Nothing by The Script.


**God damn! Excuse my language, but DAMN ELLIOT STABLER! He left D:! This is the first FanFiction I have written acknowledging him leaving because I think he will come back one day! Well, today I was listening to this song by The Script, and I think decided to write a story to go with it. If you haven't heard the song, you should look it up and listen to it while you read – it makes it sadder.  
>As of right now, this is going to be a one-shot, but I have another song that could continue it so...yeah...<strong>

**Nothing**

_Am I better off dead?  
>Am I better off a quitter?<br>They say I'm better off now  
>Than I ever was with her<br>As they take me to my local down the street  
>I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet<em>

Ever since I left the 1-6, my life has been shit. I left because I shot a teenage girl who deserved it – she shot a whole bunch of people, and some of them even died! I would have shot her in just her arm or leg or someplace where she could have survived, but she was aiming the gun at Olivia. What else was I supposed to do? Let the woman I love get shot and killed? I had to act. So I shot her.

Not a big deal, right? Wrong.

Well, apparently I have shot a lot of people that ended up dying and it was beginning to get suspicious. So they decided to investigate. I was pissed because I was going to get in a load of trouble for doing my job. It's not like the people I shot were innocent. Anyways, I decided it wasn't worth possibly getting Cap in trouble and letting Olivia go through all that pain. I left. She'd be better off without me.

_They say a few drinks will help me to forget her  
>But after one too many I know that I'm never<br>Only they can't see where this is gonna end  
>They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense<em>

I have been drinking a lot now, since I quit. Whenever I had a bad day, Olivia was the thing that got me out of bed in the morning. Seeing her smile helped me get though everything – especially the divorce. I never did anything in return. I never told her what she meant to me.

_And my mates are all there trying to calm me down  
>'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town<br>I'm swearing if I go there now  
>I can change her mind turn it all around<em>

I wanted to see her, don't get me wrong, I really did, but I couldn't face her. What would I say to my best friend and partner for over twelve years that I was going to leave? She would have told me to stay. She would have told me that we could get through this – together. Together? Who was she kidding? She was just being a good friend. I would have thought it was it was something more. I _did _think it was something more.

_And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words  
>And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred<br>Dialed her number and confessed to her  
>I'm still in love but all I heard<br>Was nothing_

So one night I get home from the bar. I was really drunk. As I sat in the darkness of my apartment, I started to do some thinking. I was tired of being alone. I missed Olivia – even if we could only be friends. I hadn't talked to her since I left – it would have been too painful – but I still had her number memorized. I punched it into my phone. It rang and rang and rang until I got her voicemail. I hung up.

_So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences  
>I know if I faced her face, that she'll come to her senses<br>Every drunk step I take leads me to her door  
>If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure<em>

I wanted to see her face. I wanted to hear her voice. I was going through withdraw. I could barely get out of bed anymore. Everything began reminding me of her. It began to become unbearable.

_And my mates are all there trying to calm me down  
>'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town<br>I'm swearing if I go there now  
>I can change her mind turn it all around<em>

I no longer wanted to see her or hear her – I needed to see her. I needed to hear her. I slept on the couch. I only got up to get beer. I no longer cared it I lived or died.

_And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words  
>And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred<br>Dialed her number and confessed to her  
>I'm still in love but all I heard<br>Was nothing_

I called her again. I told myself again and again I was going to apologize for everything. Tell her I love her.

_She said nothing  
>Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing<br>Oh, I got nothing  
>Oh, I got nothing<br>Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing_

But she didn't answer the phone. It went straight to voicemail. I hung up.

_Oh, sometimes love's intoxicating  
>Oh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking<br>When you realize there's no one waiting_

I look at her pictures. I look at the pictures of the two of us. I can remember every moment like it had just happened. I wanted to go back to the days when I was upset we could go get drunk together. I wanted to go back to her.

_Am I better off dead?  
>Am I better off a quitter?<br>They say I'm better off now  
>Than I ever was with her<em>

I realized I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed. Everyone would have helped me through it, especially her. But it's too late…

_And my mates are all there trying to calm me down  
>'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town<br>I'm swearing if I go there now  
>I can change her mind turn it all around<em>

I'm back at the precinct, talking to Olivia and Munch and Fin and Captain like good old times. Then, I shoot a teenage girl. This looks familiar. I wake up. It's just a dream. I begin to cry.

_And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words  
>And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred<br>Dialed her number and confessed to her  
>I'm still in love but all I heard<br>Was nothing_

I picked up my phone, dialed her number. Voicemail. I hung up.

_She said nothing  
>Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing<br>Oh, I got nothing  
>I got nothing<br>I wanted words but all I heard was nothing  
>Oh, I got nothing<em>

I decided to call her one last time. I was going to tell her how I felt about her. No matter what, I was going to tell her everything. I hear the phone pick up. My heart begins to race.

"Hello?" she asks.

I smile, hearing her voice. "Hey Liv."

"Who's this?"

My heart sinks. "Elliot."

I hear her gasp.

"Well, I know it's been a long time but…"

"How could you leave me? After all we've been through?" She started crying.

"I couldn't face you. I feel bad for what I did, but I didn't know what to say. I wanted to apologize for that. I'm sorry Liv."

"You still there?" I asked her. I got no response. I also didn't hear her hang up, so I continued. "I also have something else to tell you, but I don't exactly know how to tell you…well…I love you."

She hung up on me. I began to cry. Without her, I have nothing…

_I got nothing  
>I got nothing<br>I got nothing_


End file.
